February 16, 2013
Yesterday we had to do something sad: My ex-husband is moving to Florida. The girls and I live in California. The girls and I had to go to court in order for a new custody plan to be put in place. It was a beautiful day and in many ways less traumatic and less painful than all of the initial parts of the divorce, but was still a yucky thing to have to do. Because it was a fairly consuming process, I forgot to look for JOY yesterday. And then I didn’t sleep last night processing all that has occurred during the day and thinking over the hard events of the last two years. Remembering some of the hard parts that I had put behind me kept me awake all night.
I got out of bed in the morning light and saw the sunrise. Then I looked at my phone and this JOY found me. It said “Put JOY in your heart.”
And that really is what my search for JOY is all about: to find it no matter what hard or sad things are going on around you. It is my choice to hold on to the hard parts or to let them float away. And if I keep the hard parts in my heart there is less room for JOY. So I’m letting the sad parts flow out of me with tears and I’m putting JOY there instead.